Navigating the Shift: The Emotional Journey of Caring for Loved Ones

Women and mothers define for us what it means to be selfless, resilient, dedicated and making significant sacrifices to ensure that spouses, children, parents and others are taken care of. When life shifts, and it will, you may find yourself parenting your parents, or taking care of a sick loved one. You are now the care giver for aging adults, roles are switched and the child becomes the care giver to the parent.

Emotional Impact

Any shift in life brings with it an emotional impact. Love, compassion, a sense of duty are sometimes needed to meet the needs of others. It also evokes a sense of sadness, anxiety and frustration. One thing that is crucial is coming to terms with the reality that your parents are aging and may need your support or a sick loved one needs help and care. Acceptance may be a difficult place to reach but is first steps to a plan of action.

Creating a plan

Assessment of the needs will include physical needs, environmental changes, financials, medical care and an understanding of the daily challenges. Plan for self care! Seek support from friends and family. There are caregiving support groups available. Sharing experiences can provide emotional relief and practical advice. Listening to conversations from other women and mothers lets you know that you are not alone.

Communication

Having the hard conversations and honest communication with your loved ones helps them feel respected and involved in the decision making, as long as they are able. Let them know you understand their needs and preferences. At the same time there will be personal boundaries to protect your own well being while providing care.

Emotional and mental health

A definition of depression is emotional and mental exhaustion. My mother in law was diagnosed with cancer and at some point needed round the clock care and assistance. My husband and I had full time jobs and could be with her Friday evenings thru Sunday evenings. His brother and sister in law could be with her Monday thru Friday. It was a labor of love but difficult. Our time as caregiver started in the summer through autumn and into December just before Christmas when she passed away. Autumn has always been my favorite time of the year, yet for a few years following my mother in laws passing autumn brought on a depression and a dread of Christmas season.

Watching someone you love suffer and their life diminish before your very eyes was heartbreaking and can truly have an emotional and mental impact on your outlook and perception of life. Being a Woman of Faith, my anchor is God, who loves me and gives me peace and wisdom. By sharing and opening up about depression with other women who have experienced the same reaction, I found help.

Conclusion

One year at the end of summer going into autumn I realized my emotions were stuck on "auto pilot". I had to acknowledge where and why I was stuck, focusing on her death and the sadness that went with it. I chose to shift my focus back to her life. At an early age, her mother died and she became the mother to her younger siblings. Grandma Connie became a strong overcomer, even when the odds were stacked against her. She was a beautiful courageous woman and the mother of the man I love. She loved her grandchildren. Her culture, her character and her spicy personality shows up in my three children. As a Woman of Faith, Connie was a courageous influencer for Christ and an example of the Love of God towards many people.

Gratitude changed me...I'm thankful for the time we had and it was our privilege to spend the last few months with her. And in this time of sadness joy, peace and grace showed up. And we got to see even more how she impacted and influenced others up until her final days. But through it all, her faith never waivered and she saw her maker as a woman of grace.